"Blake, Let me tell you about my high school French Courses"

Tonight, as Blake was getting ready for bed, I told him to go grab a book. (quick side note, this "story time" was already doomed since I was watching the Duke/UNC game in the background...but that's neither here nor there). Blake scampered off and returned with Disney's Tarzan. He climbed up on my lap and, together, we turned to the first page. He doesn't usually wait for the actual story, preferring instead to point and yell out the objects he finds in the pictures. "Monkey, BIG Monkey, Baby!" Then I look at the words and suddenly, I appreciate that he didn't wait for me to read the story. The whole story was completely in French!? Not totally understanding where my sister picked up a french version of a Disney classic turned children's book, I decided to turn the pages and get through the pictures as fast as possible so we could choose another book in a language I was fluent in....namely, English. So I turned the page and he continued to identify the pictures: "BIG Monkey! BIG Monkey! little Monkey! Baby! Hey, where's the Baby's pants daddy?", we turn the page again, and after he identifies Jane, her dad, the bad guy and Tarzan, he asks me to read the pages. "Read Daddy, Read!" he says, as he points to the words. "Read the letters Daddy!" Now, the next part of the story is kind of hard to explain, but anyone with young kids can probably relate. You see, when it's just you and your kid alone in the house, sometimes you try to carry on an adult conversation, even though you know everything is going over their head. Keep that in mind when you read the next part. "Read the story Daddy!" "Blake, the story is in French." "Read it Daddy, Read Tarzan". "Blake, I haven't read French for 10 years, I'm not sure it would sound very good. You see, I had some, what you would call, authoritative altercations with my two French Teachers. One was upset that I asked a fluent french speaker to help me conjugate a few irregular verbs, and the other...well, the other didn't have the best sense of humor when it came to lighters in the shape of a small firearm." it was at about this point in my explanation of why I can't read Blake this story, that he seemed to lose interest in the book entirely and ran off to get another book. at which point, I must admit I was a little offended. I don't feel he really understands that, although I would love to read him the story of Tarzan in francais, I unfortunately am not able to do it. 70% because I was a complete screw off in class and 30% because my two teachers were certifiably insane! I even drew Blake a pie chart to demonstrate this, but he just took it and colored all over the statistics.
Some day I'm sure we'll have a deep, philosophically meaningful conversation about the joys of speaking multiple languages. But until then...we'll stick to children's books in English.